If you’ve been following this blog for a while, then you know that we post “top 10” lists of gadgets we like. Some gadgets are pretty cool, while others are pretty useful… and some are just plain weird. In honor of the weird ones, we’ve dedicated a top 10 list to the weirdest gadgets we could find… to date, at least, because you never know what we find NEXT week.

Let’s start with…

#1 – Slendertone Bottom Toner

It’s been said that nice rears are born, not made. But with the Slendertone Bottom Toner, you can get a toned and uplifted bottom in just 4-8 weeks! Or at least, that’s what the carton said.

This weird gadget is meant to be worn under your clothing, and can give you a good booty workout for the entire day. It’s definitely one-of-a-kind, and it’ll be interesting to see what other gadgets will come to unseat (lol) the Slendertone as the “top bottom toner.”

#2 – Private Laptop Viewer

This is basically a sweater for you AND your laptop. You basically wear it over your head, our hands, and your laptop, so you can browse through your shady websites in public without anyone staring at your screen and making judgments about your character.

Well, nice try, anyway…

Sure, the Private Laptop Viewer does prevent people from staring at your laptop. There’s just one problem — with this goofy thing, people will be staring at YOU.

#3 – Invisible Bike Helmet

Do you hate bike helmets? Then maybe this weird gadget’s for you. The Invisible Bike Helmet is meant to be worn around your neck and head, and at the first sign of danger, it inflates and protects your head from hard impacts.

Good news — now you don’t have to wear a helmet. The bad news? Now you have to wear an uncomfortable-looking scarf thingy. When you think about it, maybe helmets WEREN’T so bad…

#4 – The Peter Petrie Egg Separator

This device separates yolks from the whites, and it does it very well. This kind of function can definitely help in any avid cook’s kitchen. The weird part? Aesthetics, to say the least. Only the “guy who has everything” will probably humor having this in his kitchen.

The Peter Petrie Egg Separator is basically a mug-sized device with a cartoon character’s face, complete with oversized nose. You basically crack an egg over its head. And while the yolks are left in the head area, the whites ooze out of the nose. Yep, just like snot.

You might think this is good for a few laughs, but not if you ruin your guests’ appetites…

#5 – Kernel Kutter

I’d take this over the Peter Petrie Egg Separator any day. This nifty device separates kernels from the cob in a flash, faster than most other de-kerneling device. It saves your fingers, too. What’s weird about this? Not much really. I just needed to get the image of #4 out of my head.

#6 – Al Dente Pasta Timer

Find ordinary kitchen timers boring? Then try the Al Dente Pasta Timer. You basically COOK it along with the pasta. And at the 7, 9, and 11-minute marks, it plays different melody to alert you. Here’s to hoping it’ll come in flavors, too. (Or then again, maybe not…)

#7 – O’hEocha Audiophile Speakers

These are very large speakers — probably meant for the ultra-geeky audiophile. They look like Martian invasion machines. It does have impressive 11-inch subwoofers and 1-inch tweeters, but at almost $9,000, I’ll pass. And so should you.

#8 – USB Ass Cooler

We’ve all heard of fans for laptops. Now we have fans for our bottoms, too. The USB Ass Cooler (that’s really the name) is a device you clip over your seat, and when you turn it on, air flows upward, cooling your sweaty backside.

This should go well with the SlenderTone Bottom Toner, don’t you think? Seriously, I don’t mind the idea of treating your backside as well as you treat your laptop. The only problem I can see with this thing is when someone in the room lets one go, everyone will think it was you.

#9 – The As-Seen-On-TV Hat

The USB Ass Cooler wasn’t the weirdest name on the list. That title belongs to “The As-Seen-On-TV Hat.” It’s basically a baseball cap with a long visor, with a nylon sleeve under it. You’re supposed to fit your iPhone (or any other device) into a sleeve at the end, so you can view it at your privacy.

Kind of like the Private Laptop Viewer, only it’s for handheld devices. So far, reviews of the product have been bad. Although it claims to be made for iPhones, iPhones won’t even FIT into the sleeve! Other devices seem to work just fine, but it tells you the device wasn’t really well thought through.

The second-worst thing about it is that it’s probably going to cause blindness after long-term use. What’s worse than blindness? Celibacy, I guess.

#10 – The iCarta iPod Toilet Paper Holder

Last but not least, we have the iCarta iPod Toilet Paper Holder. Now you can listen to your tunes and charge your iPod while you do your best thinking.

It’s probably okay if your toilet is right next to the shower, so you can sing along to Mariah Carey all you want. Otherwise, why bother? Unless you really do sit on the throne that long, you’re better off saving your $69.95 for something LESS weird.

There you have it — our top 10 weirdest gadgets, for the moment. For more like this, subscribe to our blog. We’ll write about the best, the worst, and the weirdest as we stumble upon them.